exporting democracy and delicious baked goods since 2003

New World Order Form★ ★

Unlike other organizations which sell cookies, ARMYBAKESALE.com doesn't rely on inexperienced young civilians going door-to-door. Harness the power of the United States military and have your order rapidly deployed overseas!

Please be careful to provide accurate shipping information. Relying on the CIA to provide accurate information for the military is time-consuming, expensive and often inaccurate. Don't let your order be shipped to someone who doesn't deserve it.

Account Details

Thanks to the Department of Homeland Security and the Office of Total Information Awareness, ordering is easier than ever!

There’s no need to provide your credit card number or other financial information, because in accordance with the USA PATRIOT Act, the Federal Government and its coalition of freedom-loving corporate allies already have this information on file!

Cookies SUBTOTAL  

Product Description Quantity Unit
peanut clusters
macaroons ready to eat
democratic govern-mints
mother of all brownies
kellogg, brown, and root rice krispie treats

Sundries SUBTOTAL  

Product Description Quantity Unit
bouncing brown betty
yellow cake
coalition cupcakes
dark chocolate "stealth" fudge

Beverages SUBTOTAL  

Product Description Quantity Unit
orange julius


You do not need to enter any other information. We already have all your identifying information on file.

Standard Delivery
Products are delivered at a time of our choosing, subject to a variety of factors including weather and pockets of resistance
Amphibious Assault
You must have access to airstrip and/or flyover rights; not available in Turkey, Jordan, Egypt, France, former Soviet Union; guaranteed delivery within 15 miles of your address.
Next-Day Tactical Insertion (small orders only)

optional: shipping insurance / armed escort

total price

* ARMYBAKESALE.com and its couriers can not be held liable for damage associated with misdirected airdrops, inaccurate GPS information, or incidental property seized at time of delivery

** Certain delivery times may become classified during transit.

*** At time of purchase you will be given a unique tracking number. This number will be used to track you.

**** At this time all shipments to Cuba must be handled through an authorized re-seller.